Life turns

Budapest, 2022. Photo taken by my foreign man.

10’s

When I was a teenager, I started dreaming about being a fashion designer. I watched shows like Felicity, MTV The City and Sex and the City and dreamt of moving to New York to pursue that dream. 

As I grew older, I realized I loved fashion but as a means of self-expression. I didn’t want to make fashion for others, I wanted to make it for myself. So my dreams shifted.

Because life turns.

20’s

Then I discovered communications. In the many radio shows I listened to, the many books I read, and the second hand magazines I collected. I found joy in words and how they are expressed. 

Thus I started my career in communications. I wanted to work for fashion magazines, and I did for a bit. But then I also discovered marketing, social media, blogs, and the digital world. And my approach changed. 

Early 20’s were hard work. Working during the day, going to college at night. Then working during the day, covering events at night. It was non-stop until I was a bit burned out. But that’s what your 20s are good for, I guess. You’ve got the energy, you’ve got the drive of your ambitions, then you cross a line…

…where life turns. 

In my late 20’s I actually made it to New York. This time it was unexpected, not part of my big life plan but an ironic act of chance. A scholarship came up and gave me the opportunity of my life. 

Took it. Packed. Left. I didn’t know I wasn’t gonna make it back home as before. 

But life turns. 

I didn’t like the city’s fast life. It was not my kind of thing. ‘To live to work’, I was over it. I enjoyed every minute, it’s true. However, I was cool with its expiration date: Finish up and go back home to my family, my friends, and my new goals. 

I didn’t click with foreign men. I didn’t want someone who couldn’t dance. 

And guess what? Life turns. 

30’s

I started my 30’s with wedding plans and the love of my foreign man. Plans to go even further away from my family and my friends. Plans to make new goals, or maybe none at all, because things seem to be better…

…when you let life turn. 

Is sharing killing your blogging creativity? Here are 3 things you can do about it:

While I started my “30-minutes brain break", I realized that usually it is not a problem for me to find the time to write. What really kills my mood is the whole process that follows. You know… that process that someone working with digital communications considers important in order to get the content “out there” and read by someone else (which should be the ultimate goal, right?). 

Knowledge can be a double-sided weapon (un arma de doble filo, we say in Spanish). Becaus I know how blogging works, how SEO works, how social media works; and because I work with these each and every week for a minimum of 7-8 hours-a-day, thinking of it makes me anxious before I even start typing. 

I wrote this post while I was waiting in the mall, so I took this photo to remind myself that I can make time to write anywhere, anytime. 

That process is the following:

1. Finding a topic and writing about it

This is the easy-piecy part for me. I get writing ideas flowing every day. I find inspiration in many things. My favorite sources of inspiration are books, because the lack of image leads me to various trains of thoughts that can turn into different topics. My second favorite source of inspiration are good conversations. Do yourself a favor and get friends or a SO you can have serious, deep conversations with. Listen to other people’s life stories; meet people with different cultural backgrounds, etc. I find a lot of art in others. Last but not least, traveling is my third favorite source of inspiration. I don’t mean only going too far. Just commuting in the silent wagon from home to work, or having a walk through a new park, can spark some content ideas. But of course, the further you can get, the more you discover. 

2. Proofreading 

Then it comes proofreading. Which I hate, but I know how extremely necessary it is, especially as I am writing in a language that differs from my mother tongue. I wish I had a permanent editor to do it for me, but I can’t afford it, yet…

3. Sourcing

I’m a journalist. I like to read articles with credibility, and I like to write articles with credibility. Therefore, I like to know the sources of what I read and I like to include my references when I write. For that reason, I tend to include links to what I mention in my articles. Not only this is good for SEO purposes, but it’s the right thing to do.   

4. Finding a suitable image

In today’s day and age, the competition for getting a reader’s attention is fierce. I myself tend to scan articles with images that tell a little more than the headline, and I bet you do it too. After all, we are the generation of Instagram, right? So finding a suitable image for my blog posts or social content is important to me, at least until I reach Gary Vaynerchuck’s level of influence. He is the only one who shares LinkedIn content without pictures that I constantly read. 

5. Sharing it!

And then, after all that I’ve just described, comes the moment of actually publishing the blog post. I use Blogger, which I personally consider very easy and user friendly. But publishing your blog also takes time: adding a title, making sure the format is right, making sure the links and photos look right and in the right place, thinking of the byline or short description, etc… 

And even after that, comes the process of sharing it on social media. Which, as told by the real experts, supposes a totally new process in which you should adapt your message to the corresponding social audience, be it your family on Facebook, your friends and acquaintances on Instagram, your professional network on LinkedIn, and so on…

See, my job is not that easy, and if you are thinking of blogging, or vloging or podcasting, the process is similar only in a different format.

Now let’s get to what I’m currently doing to take things easier for myself and not to kill my inspiration with the thought of “all I have to do”. 

1. Write first, share later

Through my 30-min writing challenge my main concern is to find time to write. My priority is to exercise my creative writing; to give my brain “a walk”, and ultimately to do something that I enjoy a lot. Therefore, sharing shouldn’t keep me awake, and I’m not forcing myself to share things right away or to figure out how to put it across all my social networks in an hour. 

Instead, I give myself a window of two weeks to do so. Within two weeks after writing the post, I must find the time to upload it to Blogger one day. Then in the days following that, I find the time to share it on social media, and sometimes by the time I get to publish it, I can already tease my readers on what the next topic will be. 

Spreading out the process takes the pressure out of me, and actually gives me more liberty to create fresh approaches to share my blog on social. While having an actual deadline still keeps me focused on the goal. 

2. Do I really need a picture?

Again, I know I’m not Gary Vaynerchuck, but honestly who cares? Having a picture is very important for the reasons I explained above. But if I can’t have one that’s original or not burned by Pexels users across the world, then I don’t sweat it anymore. Again, my goal is to write and I want to stay focused on that purpose. 

3. Remember this is your hobby, it’s supposed to be fun

Finally, I repeat myself that this is my hobby. For my work, I can and I must follow the whole process, but for this, it’s more important for me to have fun and stay engaged in the task. Authenticity matters, and forcing things to look perfect doesn’t help my cause neither helps my potential readers. 

In simple words: Take it easy, start somewhere, focus on creating, and keep working towards your main goal. 

Is the process killing your creativity? What are you doing to avoid it?

How do you practice kindness at work?

Yes. These are a few of my flowers. You can compliment them if you want. 

Last month, the headline of this article caught my attention (yes, I also fall for the dramatic click bait sometimes). It was the story of a woman abducted in Austria, and she empathized with her captor through a random act of kindness. Complimenting his orchids started the conversation that ultimately saved her. 

Around the same time, I read this post in the Instagram account of Humans of New York (I never miss an opportunity to say that this is one of my favorite social communities of all times). In the post, the subject reflected on how the lack of empathy and love towards him while growing up led him to develop an aggressive personality and desire to hurt others. Until he found someone who cared. 

I know there is a lot of wrong in both stories, and I know there are more complex situations that cannot be solved easily within these people’s minds and life choices; but beyond that, I was more interested in the common lesson that both cases can provide: kindness works and it’s good for everyone involved. 

My train of thoughts after reflecting on these led me to the following ideas that I’d like to share with you:

The “good” we don’t give

We all have our problems and we’ve all experienced hard situations in our lives that led us to be the way we are today. But some of us are luckier than others, and I guess we’ve got more to give more. 

Some people never had that someone to teach them better. Some people never find a kind person that with one gesture or words can inspire them to step out their holes of internal misery. Therefore, their lives never change, and they never get to experience hope. 

It is difficult, I know. And the more we get, the less we are open to share with others face to face, because with more having comes a bigger fear of losing, of being robbed, betrayed or hurt. We are scared of smiling to the homeless, to keep giving to the beggar that keeps on asking, we don’t want to talk to those who look too weird… We develop some kind of fear to do well. 

More dangerously, we forget that kindness is a habit that needs to be exercised, for our own good and for the good of others. 

Kindness at work

But practicing this doesn’t require you to become the new Mother Theresa neither Gandhi. It is about being courteous even with those you don’t know, being thankful to those who serve you, showing appreciation for the ones around you… and little by little making a difference in your personal and professional interactions. 

Early in my career, I learned from a bad boss the importance of that Spanish saying: “Se atrapan mas moscas con miel que con hiel”. The translation would be something like “You can catch more flies with honey than with gall”. 

Bad leaders think the opposite, but the truth is that kindness (sweet as honey), drives more and better results than shouting, being pretentious or prepotent (bitter as gall). Those bosses that lead by fear might get the work done but never get the best out of their teams. Subordinates would either fear them or hate them. 

Meanwhile, good leaders can be assertive and kind at the same time, and get their teams to work towards common goals. They even get them do more because they want to help, because they feel appreciated and thankful. They will ultimately get things done because they want to, not only because they have to. 

Enabling confidence in your team

As another example, kindness can also give comfort and confidence to shier team members, encouraging them to excel. 

Recently, I participated in a workshop that required a lot of brainstorming. The first rule we received from the workshop facilitators was that we were not allowed to criticize others’ ideas. Everyone should be listened to, and all ideas were welcomed. 

During the first few exercises, only the same people dared to speak. But by the second half of the workshop, the more introverts ones felt more and more confident to participate, and the outcome was great. They couldn’t stop coming up with great things and there was a change in their attitude that was even reflected in their body language. 

I hope this gives you something to think of. To ask yourself how do you experience or practice kindness at work?

Poema: Ojalá sigas adelante

Ojalá que al pisar las hojas 

te des cuenta que el tiempo pasa. 

Ojalá que al pisar las hojas

te des cuenta que todo pasa. 

Ojalá sigas adelante

segura o no de tus decisiones. 

Que aprecies los rincones

que se ven con ojos del alma. 

Ojalá sepas cambiar, ojalás sepas olvidar, ojalá puedas recordar 

que vivir es caminar. 

Que no importa bueno o malo

lo que queda en el ayer. 

Puedes cambiar el mañana,

puedes volver a querer.

Lo que vives te hace ser 

mucho más de lo que eras. 

No te juzgues, no te estanques, 

vuelve siempre a la carrera. 

Por Yaneris Michel
Escrito en Nov. 15, 2018 y Dic. 8, 2018.